In retrospect (five months after the birth), the first two weeks were the most difficult, with recovery from delivery, establishing breastfeeding, doctor's appointments, daily visits and drop-ins from well-wishing family & friends, and the overwhelming emotional bond with the baby. The third week things settle a bit from crisis mode. The fourth week there is greater mutual trust, with the baby meeting you more than halfway, and an interactive process of getting to know each other. At week five, the novelty is still there but we start to regain perspective.
The nurturing instinct for me was reinforced by seeing how a well-fed baby = a content baby who sleeps well. In my husband's family, food is love...I've only recently understood this. Whenever his mom prepares a meal, or his dad insists on paying the restaurant bill for family gatherings, these acts of provision are to them an ongoing fulfillment of parenting. In my family, books were love...and I gained a deep and abiding love of books. But then, even to this day, I haven't a single 'family recipe' - passed from one generation to the next. My son being born to us will be be both well-fed and well-read!
When at five weeks we go for a stroll at Ikea I notice we are in a new demographic, the invisible tribe of those with baggage (kids). It's utterly mundane yet incredible to hold a baby or hold the hand of a trusting child.
I see also that a baby is an object on which hopes and dreams can be projected. I receive a visit from a friend who miscarried - in such a time, it is a comfort to rock a cooing baby to sleep. We have another visit from adoptive parents - I catch a glimpse of the newborn time the mother missed in adopting a 12-month old. We visit my maternal grandmother who is still independently living downtown. There's nearly a century age gap and three generations between great-grandmother and first great-grandchild - they share a silent moment sizing each other up.
For my part, at a family gathering, I consider my husband's siblings (and spouses) from the baby's perspective. Dad's oldest brother is most up to talking about history or politics, but is fun and will do tricks and use puns. Dad's second oldest brother remembers the early days and is hands-on, confident in handling the baby. Dad's third oldest brother is the bachelor uncle who chooses infant-size designer clothes and will buy sporting equipment before the child is ready for it.
At five weeks, the baby shows some understanding of processes (diapering, dressing/undressing, bathing, feeding), and therefore some patience and tolerance. He doesn't exactly smile but he looks with eager anticipation or with bright shining eyes (smiles with his eyes) or frowns or fusses or cries. He has moods but doesn't hold onto grudges. Every emotion is pure and immoderate: he can mellow right out or be set off and be inconsolable (for a few moments).
The watchful worry of being a parent has taken hold. Every once in a while, as if at a well-baby check-up, I catch myself running through his history in my mind, noting his feeding and sleeping patterns, behaviour, and developmental milestones. I'm thinking about the "10,000 hours" it takes to become expert in something. It didn't take long for the baby to become attached to me, to become a mama's boy - does time in the womb count?
We celebrate the first day of summer (June 21) by taking a walk outdoors. We experience a small earthquake (June 23). We use the Wii Fit Plus feature (weigh your pet) and set the baby up as a tail-wagging puppy to try it out.
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