The first time, we received an outpouring of support in the form of new gifts, gently used furniture and toys and accessories, advice, and encouragement. We bought a car seat / stroller travel system, chose a convertible crib, bought a dresser, and set up the second largest bedroom as a baby room. We washed all the baby clothes and cleaned house.
The second time, pregnancy nearly at full-term, the new baby's room....is still an office. We are no less excited, but we know this one will initially stay in our bedroom, either co-sleeping or in a portable crib. We did our research and bought a sit-and-stand stroller months ago, and we are looking into a vehicle that will accommodate 2 car seats and up to 4 adults comfortably. Beyond that, it was reassuring to already have the basics, and to not have needed much more beyond some smaller sized diapers.
Instead of cleaning house, I am nesting by adding to the growing library of children's books...with added justification that two kids will benefit instead of just one...I remember as a child that books were how my parents indulged me, and that I would leave the library with armfuls of books each visit. The love of reading is a legacy that I've already started passing on to my toddler, and will be the gift the newborn receives also.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Milestone: independent play!
This past Saturday, mid-afternoon, we put up the gate to his bedroom and left him with the television on (Treehouse) and with him having access only to his regular toys (nothing new). When there was no immediate protest, we flipped on the camera and started timing....the ten-minute mark came and went, and it was a bit of a revelation - he can play by himself! I think in part it was because Sesame Street was on, and he knows the characters well.
So, today, Sunday, I removed the gate, and did some sorting of clothes and other housework in the master bedroom while he had his toys and television in his room on the same floor. He was able to run back and forth, managing his attention to check in on me and engage me at times, and otherwise to play in his room and amuse himself. We kept this up for over two hours, with me in earshot and occupied, and him content to have me close by but not in the immediate vicinity.
There have been other times, of course, when we left him in a room for him to finish watching a YouTube clip (1-3 minutes), after which he will come find us, or we will return. However, it seems a big leap to what we did today, for him to sustain 'different activities' for the better part of the afternoon waking time. It's feels like a measure of freedom for me, and should feel like that for him too.
He's becoming more confident and self-sufficient, and this is a good sign, as he has a few short weeks before he has to contend with a sibling, and his parents' divided attention!
So, today, Sunday, I removed the gate, and did some sorting of clothes and other housework in the master bedroom while he had his toys and television in his room on the same floor. He was able to run back and forth, managing his attention to check in on me and engage me at times, and otherwise to play in his room and amuse himself. We kept this up for over two hours, with me in earshot and occupied, and him content to have me close by but not in the immediate vicinity.
There have been other times, of course, when we left him in a room for him to finish watching a YouTube clip (1-3 minutes), after which he will come find us, or we will return. However, it seems a big leap to what we did today, for him to sustain 'different activities' for the better part of the afternoon waking time. It's feels like a measure of freedom for me, and should feel like that for him too.
He's becoming more confident and self-sufficient, and this is a good sign, as he has a few short weeks before he has to contend with a sibling, and his parents' divided attention!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
32 weeks!
Even though I'm 32 weeks along, I think I still think of the pregnancy and my toddler as being separate. Either I'm focused on the state of being pregnant by responding to movement or while at an OB appointment, or I'm interacting with Tyler. The past few days, I find I'm referring to 'kids' and 'children' and it's no longer hypothetical or a manner of speaking. Soon we will be parents of two...
I carried my toddler a bit more than usual tonight and I saw how much it calmed him to be at that vantage point, secure. I miss it too, how he settles right into me and we become one unit. But then, it becomes too much, or I'm aware of the added strain, so I set him down. I'm excited to see those new interactions between him and the newborn. It will be the beginning of him not being an only child, of having someone look up to him, of being the bigger, more able, and more independent one.
I carried my toddler a bit more than usual tonight and I saw how much it calmed him to be at that vantage point, secure. I miss it too, how he settles right into me and we become one unit. But then, it becomes too much, or I'm aware of the added strain, so I set him down. I'm excited to see those new interactions between him and the newborn. It will be the beginning of him not being an only child, of having someone look up to him, of being the bigger, more able, and more independent one.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
How cute are you?
21 months old:
We play a game - as you run by while I'm sitting on the floor, I say "hug!" and fling my arms out. You run into my arms, then run just out of sight before turning around...we repeat a dozen times...
You yell extra loud to our friend's sons: "older brother" in Chinese to get their attention.
When I lie down with you in bed and see if you'll have an afternoon nap by pretending to sleep myself, you laugh at me and lick my face.
Sitting in your car seat, drowsy, you suddenly lean forward to check that I'm still next to you before closing your eyes.
You join a group of older kids running around to bop about and flap your arms in their midst, picking up on their energy.
You don't mind when other kids play with your toys!
After you flip through the pages of a book, at the last page you say "bye-bye."
You like to examine and name the contents of the fridge, and sit on the ledge, even though it must be cold.
You've learned to turn the television off before leaving the room.
You imitate words said in conversation.
You say the same word over and ove again if you think it's fun to say.
With the Talking Tom 2 app, you say "Ty," "mama," "dan tat (egg tart)."
You can count to ten in Chinese, sing parts of the teletubbies song, and say "go go go" on cue in the thingamajig (cat in the hat) song.
You snuggle up close to watch TV.
Sometime you laugh and laugh and laugh at the repetition of something funny.
You name the family members you see in photographs.
Every weekday as I come home, you greet me, and then alert me to the mail that came in that day.
If we have company and you are distracted, you still look for me and do a visual/physical check in before heading off again.
You make a Valentine craft (with help!).
We play a game - as you run by while I'm sitting on the floor, I say "hug!" and fling my arms out. You run into my arms, then run just out of sight before turning around...we repeat a dozen times...
You yell extra loud to our friend's sons: "older brother" in Chinese to get their attention.
When I lie down with you in bed and see if you'll have an afternoon nap by pretending to sleep myself, you laugh at me and lick my face.
Sitting in your car seat, drowsy, you suddenly lean forward to check that I'm still next to you before closing your eyes.
You join a group of older kids running around to bop about and flap your arms in their midst, picking up on their energy.
You don't mind when other kids play with your toys!
After you flip through the pages of a book, at the last page you say "bye-bye."
You like to examine and name the contents of the fridge, and sit on the ledge, even though it must be cold.
You've learned to turn the television off before leaving the room.
You imitate words said in conversation.
You say the same word over and ove again if you think it's fun to say.
With the Talking Tom 2 app, you say "Ty," "mama," "dan tat (egg tart)."
You can count to ten in Chinese, sing parts of the teletubbies song, and say "go go go" on cue in the thingamajig (cat in the hat) song.
You snuggle up close to watch TV.
Sometime you laugh and laugh and laugh at the repetition of something funny.
You name the family members you see in photographs.
Every weekday as I come home, you greet me, and then alert me to the mail that came in that day.
If we have company and you are distracted, you still look for me and do a visual/physical check in before heading off again.
You make a Valentine craft (with help!).
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Helpful
Ways 20month old helps:
When I announce I'm going to the bathroom, he follows me, rips off a square of toilet paper, hands it to me, and runs out.
After he is dressed to go out, he looks for and hands me my shoes.
When someone arrives with groceries, he picks up the bags and drags/carries them into the kitchen.
If you are looking for something and tell him what it is, he also tries to find it, and brings it to you.
If you start wiping the floor, he does the same.
Before his bath, he'll help take off his clothes and put them in the laundry basket.
Once in a while he will lie still as you change his diaper.
He closes drawers and doors left ajar.
If you drop something, he'll pick it up and hand it to you.
When you arrive home, he'll point at the mail that came in earlier that day.
Ways he asks us to help him:
If he's holding something and wants to do something new/examine something else, he'll indicate he wants us to hold what he has, and then ask for it back later.
Says 'help' if he needs help after a few attempts of his own.
Pointing, eye contact, and grunting, especially of he's confined in a high chair.
Physically takes your hand in his and moves it to the problem (e.g. pressing eject on the CD player).
If walking out in public and becomes overwhelmed or has near collisions with adults, turns back and asks to be carried (out of foot traffic).
Kicks, points, and says 'shoes' and 'socks' so we remove them during car rides. (He is agreeable to wearing them while out and getting in and out of the car, but doesn't want them on while sitting).
When I announce I'm going to the bathroom, he follows me, rips off a square of toilet paper, hands it to me, and runs out.
After he is dressed to go out, he looks for and hands me my shoes.
When someone arrives with groceries, he picks up the bags and drags/carries them into the kitchen.
If you are looking for something and tell him what it is, he also tries to find it, and brings it to you.
If you start wiping the floor, he does the same.
Before his bath, he'll help take off his clothes and put them in the laundry basket.
Once in a while he will lie still as you change his diaper.
He closes drawers and doors left ajar.
If you drop something, he'll pick it up and hand it to you.
When you arrive home, he'll point at the mail that came in earlier that day.
Ways he asks us to help him:
If he's holding something and wants to do something new/examine something else, he'll indicate he wants us to hold what he has, and then ask for it back later.
Says 'help' if he needs help after a few attempts of his own.
Pointing, eye contact, and grunting, especially of he's confined in a high chair.
Physically takes your hand in his and moves it to the problem (e.g. pressing eject on the CD player).
If walking out in public and becomes overwhelmed or has near collisions with adults, turns back and asks to be carried (out of foot traffic).
Kicks, points, and says 'shoes' and 'socks' so we remove them during car rides. (He is agreeable to wearing them while out and getting in and out of the car, but doesn't want them on while sitting).
Monday, January 9, 2012
Perspective
There are many things that are easier to do without a toddler, such as having a meal in a restaurant, getting a good night's sleep, reading a book uninterrupted, making last-minute plans to spend time with friends.
But then, when would I take inventory of all the fallen branches and sticks in the backyard, have opportunity to sit and stare at the goldfish, be available to be napped on at dusk as the light fades outside, be echoed as I count aloud to ten?
Who would offer to share their food from the little that they can clutch in one hand, play catch with me, and run to greet and hug me wholeheartedly when I return home?
And when my (adult) world becomes smaller again with a newborn in the house, I'll be reminded that infancy and toddlerhood is the most wide-eyed and open time of life, and I am the cente of THEIR world, for a time.
But then, when would I take inventory of all the fallen branches and sticks in the backyard, have opportunity to sit and stare at the goldfish, be available to be napped on at dusk as the light fades outside, be echoed as I count aloud to ten?
Who would offer to share their food from the little that they can clutch in one hand, play catch with me, and run to greet and hug me wholeheartedly when I return home?
And when my (adult) world becomes smaller again with a newborn in the house, I'll be reminded that infancy and toddlerhood is the most wide-eyed and open time of life, and I am the cente of THEIR world, for a time.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Milestone: imaginative play!
In the car today, I put out my hand to my toddler, who by now is one and a half years old (vs 19 months old). He turns it over, pretends to pick up food from my palm, brings it to his mouth, and mimes chewing. He does this several times in a row and I realize that this is imaginative play!
It seems particularly striking to me, even though for months he's played peekaboo, talked into phones and phone-like shapes, laughed at Mr Potato Head losing his body parts, and other things, but this instance mimicked a similar interaction we had, when I fed him on a long car ride, also at night and in the dark.
It's true about kids, that they pick up more than you realize. It also means it's the right time to impose boundaries and positively reinforce good behaviour. He's becoming fast enough that we can't keep up just by watching-we have to slow him down and have him regulate himself by teaching him what we expect. He's also getting to be big to just scoop him up and distract him with something else or redirect.
He has various methods: testing to see if the rule is consistent, smiling winningly when he thinks he might be in a gray area, stealth and speed (to do something forbidden so quickly that he can enjoy the effect before stopped: e.g. throwing things down the stairs).
At the same time, there is a judgement call on whether he's doing something from the drive to explore and experiment...and he still doesn't quite realize when he might hurt himself by scaling the great heights of the sofa arm or a wobbly restaurant chair.
He's still affectionate and craves physical closeness, snuggles up when he's tired or overstimulated, and accommodates my increasing physical limitations-he doesn't whine to be carried up and down stairs and waits patiently as I change position.
We spent some time with a 4 month old girl and he was gentle and giving her hugs and forehead touches (kisses), so I have some hope that he may adjust well to a newborn in the house.
He's growing so quickly and learning so much that as I write about one thing he's doing another.
He's a very cute toddler who gets attention wherever we go. Sometimes to amuse himself (I think), he waves and says hi to strangers while he's with us, on the plane, in the food court, at the mall...then he turns on the charm...his path will be easier in life if he retains and develops this, but I also hope we can raise a moral and ethical person, not just an influential (manipulative) one...
Maybe I'm looking too far ahead on this one, but cute and clever means he will get away with some bad behaviour...
It seems particularly striking to me, even though for months he's played peekaboo, talked into phones and phone-like shapes, laughed at Mr Potato Head losing his body parts, and other things, but this instance mimicked a similar interaction we had, when I fed him on a long car ride, also at night and in the dark.
It's true about kids, that they pick up more than you realize. It also means it's the right time to impose boundaries and positively reinforce good behaviour. He's becoming fast enough that we can't keep up just by watching-we have to slow him down and have him regulate himself by teaching him what we expect. He's also getting to be big to just scoop him up and distract him with something else or redirect.
He has various methods: testing to see if the rule is consistent, smiling winningly when he thinks he might be in a gray area, stealth and speed (to do something forbidden so quickly that he can enjoy the effect before stopped: e.g. throwing things down the stairs).
At the same time, there is a judgement call on whether he's doing something from the drive to explore and experiment...and he still doesn't quite realize when he might hurt himself by scaling the great heights of the sofa arm or a wobbly restaurant chair.
He's still affectionate and craves physical closeness, snuggles up when he's tired or overstimulated, and accommodates my increasing physical limitations-he doesn't whine to be carried up and down stairs and waits patiently as I change position.
We spent some time with a 4 month old girl and he was gentle and giving her hugs and forehead touches (kisses), so I have some hope that he may adjust well to a newborn in the house.
He's growing so quickly and learning so much that as I write about one thing he's doing another.
He's a very cute toddler who gets attention wherever we go. Sometimes to amuse himself (I think), he waves and says hi to strangers while he's with us, on the plane, in the food court, at the mall...then he turns on the charm...his path will be easier in life if he retains and develops this, but I also hope we can raise a moral and ethical person, not just an influential (manipulative) one...
Maybe I'm looking too far ahead on this one, but cute and clever means he will get away with some bad behaviour...
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